Battery Energy Drink

batteryIt was my sophomore year of college that I first realized the true utility of energy drinks. Like a peasant without a religion, I embraced the promises of a turbocharged lifestyle, void of the horrible taste of coffee.

Just as most energy drink beginners, I started with Red Bull and Monster. It didn’t take me long to realize Red Bull was not worth the price, and Monster became my collegiate teat. Yes, I said teat. I lived off Monster that year. It rang in the dreaded morning classes and christened the late night study sessions.

So what did I do? I bought 50 cans in bulk for the whole year. I finished all but 10 of them, not because the year ended, but because the taste and smell of the drink soon came to reliably induce a nice little feeling called nausea. For the following year, drinking Monster would leave me looking for a toilet to vomit in. This, thankfully, has subsided. But to this day, though, 3 years later, the smell still makes me shutter.

I got the opportunity to drink a Battery Energy Drink the other day and upon opening the boring black bottle (WHY ditch the awesome look of the can?!), I was greeted with the undeniable smell of Monster. I promise I’ve done my best to ignore the initial gag response, and I strived to taste the drink for all it’s worth without bias.

Taste

Monster Jager Bomb. You’ve heard of Jager Bombs I’m sure. Part energy drink, part Jagermeister alcohol. Together, they obliterate your inhibitions. Jagermeister has a distinctive black licorice taste and this is undeniably present in Battery. So, simply, this drink tastes like regular Monster with a moderate hint of black licorice. I was fine with the Monster taste. Personally, I can’t stand the taste of black licorice so this drink was not a pleasant experience for me. Maybe it will be for you.

Ingredients

Gee, I’d love to write a little about the drink here, but the ENTIRE ingredients list does not contain one English word! Wonderful. According to the website, the main energy ingredients in this drink are caffeine, taurine, maltodextrine, guarana, and b-vitamins. The only portion listed on the site is for caffeine. There are 320mg of caffeine per 100 centiliters (AKA 1 liter). Wowzerz, right? Riiggghhht too bad this drink only contains 45 CL, equating to a not-so-special 144mg of caffeine. That 320 number seems like more of an advertising gimmick to me, just state the applied facts please and spare us the math!

Energy

Thankfully, there’s apparently more to this drink than caffeine. What this drink lacks in taste and English-speaking-consumer friendliness it makes up for in energy. I got a very quick boost in energy that lasted for 3-4 hours, I admit I was fairly impressed.

Verdict

If you come across this drink, I’d say it’s worth giving a try. Whether you’ll like the taste is a toss-up, so I’m not going to suggest you go out of your way to track this drink down. Unless you’re a black licorice gobbling, Jagermeister guzzling fiend, that is.

Reviewed by Dusty Smith

Alternate Review: Battery Energy Drink Can

battery-energy-drink

It’s not often I get the chance to review a drink from a place as cool as Scandinavia. With tales of viking conquest and the some of the highest human development ratings in the world, I got to wonder what they use to keep themselves productive and alert… and I may have the answer in my hand.

I’m holding a can of Battery Energy Drink, originally from the land of Finland. Presenting itself in a stubby, polarized can, I’m wondering if Battery will leave me feeling positive, or perhaps negative?

Flavor

Battery has a very tart, electrifying flavor with a subtly sweet after taste similar to candy like Rockets. It has a liberal amount of carbonation, but isn’t too heavy, so you could down this fairly quick and it would taste alright. Containing regular sugar, there’s no artificial sweeteners that add any weird tastes. It isn’t anything amazing, though, as many other drinks on the market feature a similar taste. It would benefit from being a bit sweeter.

Ingredients

This can encapsulates 105.6mg of caffeine (32mg/L), and concentrations of taurine, B6, B12 that are a fairly common elixir in the modern energy drink. With a little more caffeine kick than most drinks in its size (11oz/330ml), I’m speculating that this could be an excellent balance of a satisfactory drink and a pick-me-up.

Energy

Battery was just right to get me out of my mid-day slump and back into gear as I navigated through my books. Stimulating me enough to rise above the waning effects of my previous drink that day, Battery came through with an electrifying jolt of positive energy. I seemed to be in a better mood because of Battery’s “charge”!

This amplifying drink from Finland was certainly a positive mix of soda-like consistency, tart taste, and the charge I needed to break into the books. Battery definitely has potential and with a bit of added sweetness, it could rise above in the saturated energy drink market.

Reviewed by JD

Drinks are reviewed by an independent drink reviewer and do not necessarily reflect the views or beliefs of this site.

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  • TNT

    Nice one, Dusty. I feel your pain on the Monster taste. Any of their drinks besides the Java stuff pretty much gives me an instant headache.

    I’ve heard about Battery and thought the can looked cooler too.

  • They still make the can but now they offer the larger resealable bottle. I agree that it offers more kick than expected.
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  • Dusty

    Thanks, TNT! Glad to hear I’m not the only with that problem.

    ed, thanks to you as well 🙂 Ya I figured the bottle was because it offered more content, to which I’d say just make a bigger can. If they want the container to be refillable, then a bottle with the same color scheme would have been best IMO.

  • Evan

    I guess I am really one of the only people that likes the taste of Monster. The “horrible taste of coffee”? That one I don’t get.

  • Dusty

    Evan, I was telling my personal story, and I can’t stand coffee

  • howard

    Man, can I relate to this site…Amp it up and let’s get a Jolt and let the Monster out! Here’s my thing…bought some Jolt gum and I think the stuff ought to be a controlled substance for kids…it’s one thing to hit them with the mountain dew, but if they figure out the chewing gum will keep them going, we will have even more problems as the kiddies grow. As for me? Burning out quickly, but with increased awareness…

  • Dayl

    hey i tend to agree that Battery is the energy drink which actully gives you that real kick when you need it. It works better than the others I have tried.The name says it all…

  • Kingi

    HERESY, Battery is consumed due to the heavenly taste, no one cares about the energy / “kick” factor in it.

    out of interest how much does one can / bottle cost outside of finland , here the standard price is 2.25e / 2.90e

  • Finnish guy

    As this is one of the first hits when googling battery energy drink, I would like to inform everybody that battery in a bottle is not even near the taste of a can. A cold can of battery is a beautiful experience, whereas a bottle is a plasticy disgusting excuse for a energy drink. So please don’t base your judgement on the bottle variety alone.

Last Modified: August 25, 2014