OC Energy Drink: A Bitter, Jaded Review
I have a feeling I’ve said this before, but I’m pretty sure I’m right this time. OC Energy Kik-it Original Energy Drink is probably the worst tasting drink I’ve ever drank. It looks and tastes like NyQuil.
OC Energy Drink Has Been Discontinued
It’s green and completely void of any carbonation. Drinking it is not an enjoyable experience, which I’m guessing is why they offer a 2 oz. concentrated version along with the usual 10 oz.
It’s just an ugly drink. There’s no other way to describe it. The bottle has little silhouettes of people who I’m guessing are very cool. Whether it’s because they are from the OC or because they drink OC Kik-it Original Energy Drink, I don’t know. A guy in short pants flanked by two women that, judging just by their posture, are probably very sassy. Maybe it’s, like, OC Attitude or something. To top everything off, the concentrated version actually has the words INSANE XXX and the INSANE is trademarked. No joke. So that right there is enough to send me running the other way. I’ll take anything else, anything in the freezer case that doesn’t have the words INSANE XXX on it. Actually, anything in the case that’s not named after a place with a TV show named after it.
This stuff sucks. Really.
I was born in Orange County. I have a lot of friends that still live in Orange County. In fact, I was there yesterday. Believe me when I say that A) the cool people are not drinking OC Kik-it, and B) Orange County isn’t really all that cool. IT’S ALL FAKE. THE WHOLE THING. Even the real people there are fake. Does that make any sense? The whole OC thing is bullshit. Remember how troubled I was by the Nuclear Waste Antidote? Havoc? Huuuuuuniiiiid Raaaaaaacks? Well my lack of a degree in Marketing and Public Relations isn’t gonna stop me from going ahead and calling this an equally dumb idea and I’d just like to respectfully point out that I haven’t been wrong yet.
See, I’m seeing a correlation here as I do more reviews. The crappiest drinks generally send me the most promotional crap. So the first thing I did was throw all of the free window decals in the trash (which, seriously, you guys gave me like fifty of those things. Did you really expect me to fall so hopelessly in love with this stuff that I was gonna plaster your logo all over my ride? You’re from here. You know how shallow we are.). After that, I tried to read some of the marketing literature, but soon realized that it was just a more detailed description of the classic Our Product is Complete Bullshit and We’re Trying Desperately to Distinguish Ourselves from the Legion of Other Imitators By Piggybacking On Another Stupid Ass Trendy Pile of Trendiness meme. Then I got to work drinking all of the eight bottles that they sent.
Well, I drank quite a few of them over the course of a few days, but they were so bad that I got sick of it pretty quick and I tried to pass the rest off on pretty much anyone who would take it. Everyone hated it though. No one wanted it. It became a joke around the EF branch offices. I literally couldn’t give this stuff away.
Not very well received, is what I’m saying here. I didn’t like it. I can’t endorse it.
So, either I’m right again and this whole OC KIK-it thing is just a waste of energy (OOHHH, get it?) or I just hang out with an incredibly cool group of people with impeccable taste.
Review by Garrett