Cheetah Power Surge

cheetah-power-surgeAlright students, I have a new homework assignment for you today!

Here’s what I’d like you to do: First, travel to your local library and locate a Thesaurus. Next, I want you to look up the word, “horrible”.

Now, I want you to pick your favorite 25 synonyms and put them in paragraph form separated by commas. You’re almost done, isn’t this fun? Here’s the final step: Title your paper, “Cheetah Power Surge“.

Flavor

Here as I sit in front of my computer, I am at a loss of words to describe the taste of this drink. Looking around for inspiration, my eyes focus on the can itself and it hits me. This is what cheetah urine must taste like. BRILLIANT! it all makes sense, this IS cheetah urine! The urine of our planet’s fastest land animal. It’s nature’s energy drink, no?

Ingredients

There are two main points to make here, each of which can be summarized in two words. They are Royal Jelly and No caffeine. Standing out among the horridly dull ingredients list is royal jelly. It’s a honey bee secretion for bee larvae, so says the mighty collective public of Wikipedia. Secondly, yes there is NO caffeine. In fact, aside the nominal sugar content not one energy ingredient exists, NOT ONE! I’m speechless.

Energy

Power surge my ass. Imagining myself drinking a Rockstar gives me more energy than this “drink”.

Verdict

Hello again students, I wanted to offer you all an extra credit assignment. I would like you to write a short report on the abuse of the placebo effect by energy drink manufacturers today.

Oh and one more thing, who wants to know the source of my nightmares? I’ll tell you. This drink has a diet version.

Reviewed by Dusty Smith: Central Michigan University; Experimental Psychology Graduate Student; Researcher, Engineering Psychophysiology Laboratory; Founder, Michigan Intercollegiate Racquetball Association; Energy Drink Connoisseur.

Drinks are reviewed by an independent drink reviewer and do not necessarily reflect the views or beliefs of this site.

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  • Tramp

    >>Power surge my ass. Imagining myself drinking a Rockstar gives me more energy than this “drink”.<<

    that line was amazing. hahaha. just thought i’d let you know i thoroughly enjoyed this review, though i suppose i should thank you heavily for taking the brunt of the abuse for the rest of us.

    so: thank you dusty smith with a long list of achievements, your selfless ways should be an inspiration to us all.

  • Tim

    funny review dude…you spelled connoisseur wrong though. XD

  • ted

    That was me, that’s what I get for trusting google!

  • Dusty

    Hah yeah ted wrote that summarized bio about me.

    Tramp, thanks a bunch for the nice compliments! I’m glad you enjoyed the review

  • Is Dusty our new reviewer? If so congrats for taking my dream job! JKJK Now that I think about it my review was kinda dull.

  • Gilly

    Seriously! Both of our dream jobs, Brian, haha. It’s all good, I think Dusty’s a worthy addition to the team. Maybe we’ll have our chances again down the road. 😉

  • eanowakattack

    BEST REVIEW EVER. PERIOD.

    +

  • Evan

    i agree, that was really good, congrats on the sweet job

  • Freshyner

    I pass this drink up every time I go to my local convenience stores, but tonight they were all out of the big cans of Jolt, so I settled on finally trying Cheetah Power Surge.

    In all ways is it just “okay”.

    I am determined not to waste the money I spent on it, so the energy boost is probably coming from the fact that I am GOING to finish this, even if I have to stay awake all night to do so 😉

  • Outdoorsguy

    I am not sure what planet it is you hail from..it must be a TO thing..none the less, I strive to find where it is you’re coming from with this review…obviously you have a hate-on for Cheetah Power Surge..a product which, in my opinion, is a terrific and refreshing energy drink…of course we do have more refined tastes up here in the National Capital Region

    Evidently all that caffeine contained in those other energy drinks you consume has caused severe brain damage..or perhaps some sort of ‘caffeine rage’..either way, please do us a favour go back to Rockstar and RedBull and leave Cheetah to those who can appreciate it..

    Outdoorsguy

  • Actually, I ended up buying many more cans of Cheetah (usually the smaller, red cans) over the last 6 or 7 months, and it really grows on you.

    It is very refreshing, as someone else said, and without any carbonation, it goes down really well too.

    It is well-priced, too, usually a dollar or so less than many other same-sized energy drinks.

  • Jebas

    I also think Cheetah rules! It’s the only energy drink that doesn’t make me crash.

    And it’s also way cheaper where I get it anyways, so power to the cheetah!

  • The Carlo

    I thought that someone with these credentials “Reviewed by Dusty Smith: Central Michigan University; Experimental Psychology Graduate Student; Researcher, Engineering Psychophysiology Laboratory; Founder, Michigan Intercollegiate Racquetball Association; Energy Drink Connoisseur” would be more cautious with their words. Maybe more educated. Cheetah urine? wow! I think this was a put down to decrease sales on the Cheetah power surge product. A few of us here in Windsor Ontario have recently tried this product, and it tastes just fine! The price is less than other energy drinks I have tried and honestly,.all that caffeine causes more problems. Cheetah is taking on the challenge to put ingredients that I have used as a sport supplement that over time has worked. And no caffeine crash. Nice to hear your opinions but do so properly, otherwise your sounding like a punk kid. Ciao for now.

  • bob

    I love it when people associated with a drink show up slamming the review. You can always tell.

  • The Carlo

    You can tell what?
    Ohhh You think I am associated with the drink company? No I am not ! I do not work for nor am I associated with any company within this article. I did however just try this beverage within the last 7 days, and then came across this site while checking to see what the ingredients are about. Hence I wrote my opinion.
    Thanks anyways Bob,

  • Steve

    I am a faithful Cheetah drinker, as I cannot consume caffeine. I am such a big fan, I order it by the case, shipped to my home, since it’s so hard to find in stores now. The taste is awesome, it tastes like the candies called Rockets. And the statement that not one energy ingredient exists is extremely inaccurate. Look up ginseng, google it, its’ very easy, and you’ll see that there are hundreds of studies to prove that Asian ginseng especially is an energy booster, as well as an immune system booster. And as others have said, there is no crashing. I love the stuff.

  • Hey this has been great. Two camps. Like the Hatfields and McCoys. I wish I was a heart speacialist. I could make lots of money on the next generation as all of these energy drinkers reach their mid thirties and forties. LOL Wisdom is lost to energy drinkers. It’s all about the buzz.

  • Dan mason

    I’m in Wichita KS I can’t find this product. Help!!

  • sandra

    I can’t find it in the states. Where can I order online? Help!

  • Alex

    Had this once it did nothing to wake me up but give me a stomach ache. It also tasted like crap. Good thing I didn;t pay for it.

Last Modified: June 27, 2014